the gift freely given

What I would do for a smile

Amid it all
The weighty yolk
Burdens that threaten to break my back
All I need is a smile.

Sneers are worthless Pits of darkness
Vacuums, voids, lacking
But a smile...
That twinkle
The eyes that shift
Upturned lips

What I would do for a smile.

Voila ma motivation
Voila pourquoi je vis.
Voila la joie et la force
Un sourire... ouais.
C'est ca la vrai energie.

Once upon a time
Or maybe twice
or Thrice
Too many to admit
I've chased it away.
The elusive smile
Self centered actions
Thoughts, feelings
They stood before me.
Usually the choice didn't appear
As a choice.
But then
My truest love
The light you give off
The glow of a simple
Adoration
It fades
Shades of hurt
Cover your face
Starting in your eyes
Those sweet, shining eyes
Innocent
Giddy
Alive.
Slowly dying
It's the graduality
The eventuality
Which kills me.
Realizing that the hurt
The betrayal
You trusted me
To love you
And I loved myself more
for an Instant.
An instant is long enough to ache.

What I would do for your smile.

Your smile
Your joy
Your heart
Let me show you
I can love you
Serve you.

Let me earn
your Smile.

Champagne Supernova

And we will
Be best friends forever
We'll have fun together
And no matter the weather
We'll see it through
And we still
Help one another
Learn from each other
Watch out like our mothers
Like good friends do
That's right
That's what you and I will do.

It didn't take too long
to see
That we met before
Cette vie
How fantastic
It has been
To be your favorite
assigned friend.

Luckily it doesn't end here
We'll add more memories that we hold dear
Cause it's not every day
My premortal friends come out to play
So though I leave real soon
Know that when we meet again
I sing
For you

That we will
Be best friends forever
We'll hang out together
And no matter the weather
We'll see it through
And we'll still
Help one another
Learn from each other
Watch out like our mothers
As good friends do
That's right
That's what you and I will do.

I don't go buildin' treehouse clubs
With just any pre-earth child
I know that we were "supah coo'!"
And probably pretty wild
I just hope that you'll never let go
Of the ties that bind our souls
Changing winds have come to stir things up
Who knows what the future holds?

But...


I know...

That we will
Be best friends forever
We'll hang out together
No matter the weather
We'll see it through
And we'll still
Help one another
Learn from each other
Watch out like two mothers
As best friends do.
I know.

That's what you and I will do.

Starshine

I didn't want to come back
Vivid memories still lived
But you said on our first train ride
How you've made yourself commit
Oh Starshine,
What a way to begin.

Working all day loveing people
Fighting inner questionings
Are you good enough to do it?
Of course, Don't be silly!
Oh my Starshine,
What a girl to be!

Yeah you can smile
Through a trial
Walk a mile
In their shoes
Givin' it all,
Your head held tall
No hope to small
For you.

I couldn't seem to stop you
From spreading 'round the sun
You want to save a precious soul
Even if it's just one
Oh Starshine,
You have a heart of gold.

I cried over a nothing
Hiding all my fears and doubts
But you showed me that it's all okay
You swept away my clouds
Oh Starshine,
Your time is not.

Yeah you can smile
Through a trial
Walk a mile
In their shoes
Givin' it all,
Your head held tall
No hope to small
For you.

Remember the love in your heart
Is where all the real changes start
Show them that Christ's perfect love
Is what helps you to be strong enough
To survive
This life...

Yeah you can smile
Through a trial
Walk a mile in their shoes
Your head held tall
Givin' it all all
No hope too small
For you.
Cause, Starshine,

that's just what you do.


--avec amour, ta Regina Spektor

Marci's Song

It seems to me you live your life
Like tonight might be your last
You put in everything you've got
But the time moves far too fast
It shows in everything you do
The whole heart that you give
It wears me out to watch you go
Oh what a way to live!

It's cause you know
You know how to go on
The journey's not that long
And nothing really could go wrong
So en avant!
Press forward with all your might
All things will be right
You're fighting the good fight
With me in Versailles.

It seems to me that you love the work
Like you feel more blessed than stressed
For all good things must come from God
You don't worry about the rest
Okay so life is not parfaite
And you admit you have your trials
But a moment's all it takes for you
To refind you great smile

It's cause you know
You know how to go on
The journey's not that long
And nothing really could go wrong
So en avant!
Press forward with all your might
All things will be right
You're fighting the good fight
With me in Versailles

Don't be afraid
You're not alone
He qualifies those whom He calls
It's going great
Keep marching on
He promised to not let you fall

It's cause you know
You know how to go on
The journey's not that long
And nothing really could go wrong
So en avant!
Press forward with all your might
All things will be right
You're fighting the good fight
With me

In Versailles.

Post Wingate Remy

I don't know why but your face haunts me.
I can rationalize all my feeling away
Until I see you.
Hear you. And it rushes back
Like a force of unkown strength
Unending life
It fills me and consumes me.
I hate it and love it all at the same time.
If this feeling were calm, quiet,
Even nearly inexistent
I could trust it.
But the intensity
The growth.
The power.
It's so complete in the way
That there is no end.
Hold me closer
So I can push you away
When I'm in the red
I feel fine
But when I commit to giving all
My normal doubts drop in
The ones that are like faith
You can't prove them
You can't disprove them
They exist as long as you play into them
So I stop.
But I fall again
But I hear you.
But I think about a future.
And the sprout
Budding like dandylions
Beautiful
Calm.
Good.
They spread
Expand.
Float across the wind
Creating more doubts
More fears.
So what is the solution?
Do I close my eyes
Grab my faith
And jump?
Or do I dance
This passionate Tango
of love
and fire
And fear.
Until you decide to pick another partner
Or maybe I find a new one.
Less complicated
More present
(Though you are ever present in my mind)
More stable...
Yet my dance will continue
With no matter whom
Until I stop guessing twice
So why not
Just end the dance
With you?