Thursday, April 11, 2013

Post Wingate Remy

I don't know why but your face haunts me.
I can rationalize all my feeling away
Until I see you.
Hear you. And it rushes back
Like a force of unkown strength
Unending life
It fills me and consumes me.
I hate it and love it all at the same time.
If this feeling were calm, quiet,
Even nearly inexistent
I could trust it.
But the intensity
The growth.
The power.
It's so complete in the way
That there is no end.
Hold me closer
So I can push you away
When I'm in the red
I feel fine
But when I commit to giving all
My normal doubts drop in
The ones that are like faith
You can't prove them
You can't disprove them
They exist as long as you play into them
So I stop.
But I fall again
But I hear you.
But I think about a future.
And the sprout
Budding like dandylions
Beautiful
Calm.
Good.
They spread
Expand.
Float across the wind
Creating more doubts
More fears.
So what is the solution?
Do I close my eyes
Grab my faith
And jump?
Or do I dance
This passionate Tango
of love
and fire
And fear.
Until you decide to pick another partner
Or maybe I find a new one.
Less complicated
More present
(Though you are ever present in my mind)
More stable...
Yet my dance will continue
With no matter whom
Until I stop guessing twice
So why not
Just end the dance
With you?

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