Whenever you're around me
I can hold it deep inside
And never give a second thought
To how I'm going to cry.
I know that you're a special one
But I cannot say those words
Sometimes the love fills my whole self
It grows so much it hurts.
And I when I know that we can't meet
For at least a little while
I find myself upon this fork
Again I'm in this trial
So am I in love with your idea
And imaginary man?
Or are my feelings very real?
I just know that NOW I can't.
Someday I'll wish upon a star
And maybe I'll try then
To see if there is anything
Or has the light grown dim.
Oh how I hate this inner fight
This battle of the heart
I cannot act upon my love
Now is not the time to start.
So help me, Lord, forget this one
Help me hide him deep inside.
So when I stand before Thy throne
I'm not tempted to lie.
Oh hide him far away from me
Like he never even lived
And make me see the special things
That came before he did.
So maybe, when we're dead and gone
Maybe we'll meet that day
And have a rule free circumstance
And I'll love you without shame.
But till that day
I'll stop, I'll hide
I cannot hold, I cannot try
I don't know why He put you here
Or why you're in my way
I know, however, one thing's clear:
Today is not our day.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
final night in melun
I thought he was something
But then he was not
The words that pierced my wall
Will not be forgot
I cannot change the time
And I cannot fix the past
I hoped that he was different
My dream just couldn't last
So now I stand on the edge of decision.
Make up your mind
Come, pick a side
You cannot say no
It's a matter of pride
Does he care what you think?
Does he care what you feel?
Will you hold out forever
to see if it's real?
No-- you will walk down one path.
Upon close inspection
I sought hard to see
Was it him with the faults
Or is it just me?
I cannot change my soul
And I cannot change my heart
But I will uphold my standards
So degradation doesn't start
Thus begins my intense transformation.
Make up your mind
Come, pick a side
you cannot say no
It's a matter of pride
Does he care what you think?
Does he care what you feel?
Will you hold out forever
To see if it's real?
No, you will walk down your path.
And it's funny
How my heart doesn't cry
When I tell myself, "this love must die."
It's ironic
How they break under strain
My condemning
Sentimental chains.
Make up your mind
Come, pick a side
You cannot say no
It's a matter of pride
Does he care what you think?
Does he care what you feel?
Will you hold out forever
to see if it's real?
No, I will make the right plan.
Now, I know where I stand.
But then he was not
The words that pierced my wall
Will not be forgot
I cannot change the time
And I cannot fix the past
I hoped that he was different
My dream just couldn't last
So now I stand on the edge of decision.
Make up your mind
Come, pick a side
You cannot say no
It's a matter of pride
Does he care what you think?
Does he care what you feel?
Will you hold out forever
to see if it's real?
No-- you will walk down one path.
Upon close inspection
I sought hard to see
Was it him with the faults
Or is it just me?
I cannot change my soul
And I cannot change my heart
But I will uphold my standards
So degradation doesn't start
Thus begins my intense transformation.
Make up your mind
Come, pick a side
you cannot say no
It's a matter of pride
Does he care what you think?
Does he care what you feel?
Will you hold out forever
To see if it's real?
No, you will walk down your path.
And it's funny
How my heart doesn't cry
When I tell myself, "this love must die."
It's ironic
How they break under strain
My condemning
Sentimental chains.
Make up your mind
Come, pick a side
You cannot say no
It's a matter of pride
Does he care what you think?
Does he care what you feel?
Will you hold out forever
to see if it's real?
No, I will make the right plan.
Now, I know where I stand.
Hall
Each night I come
Watching blackened skies
I wait to see your face
When dark is done
Light reveals my cries
Nothing in its place
But you cannot hide forever from my desperate prayers
You cannot act as though you do not hear
The world may call me down
I live where fears abound
But in my heart I stand and feel you near.
In a dark room
Where love walks forth
Happiness soon dies out
Daily he moons
Divining his worth
I harbor my own doubts
But you cannot hide forever from my desperate prayers
You cannot act as though you do not hear.
The world may call me down
I live where fears abound
But in my heart I stand and feel you near.
Those around me haven't seen
What it is you've done for me
They haven't read the writings
That you've graven on my heart
What it is I need to be
Isn't something that came free
But these feelings in my soul
I swear will never depart
And you will not hide forever from my desperate prayers
You will not act as though you do not hear
The world may call me down
I may live where fears abound
But in my heart I stand and feel you near.
In my heart, I know that you are here.
Watching blackened skies
I wait to see your face
When dark is done
Light reveals my cries
Nothing in its place
But you cannot hide forever from my desperate prayers
You cannot act as though you do not hear
The world may call me down
I live where fears abound
But in my heart I stand and feel you near.
In a dark room
Where love walks forth
Happiness soon dies out
Daily he moons
Divining his worth
I harbor my own doubts
But you cannot hide forever from my desperate prayers
You cannot act as though you do not hear.
The world may call me down
I live where fears abound
But in my heart I stand and feel you near.
Those around me haven't seen
What it is you've done for me
They haven't read the writings
That you've graven on my heart
What it is I need to be
Isn't something that came free
But these feelings in my soul
I swear will never depart
And you will not hide forever from my desperate prayers
You will not act as though you do not hear
The world may call me down
I may live where fears abound
But in my heart I stand and feel you near.
In my heart, I know that you are here.
Voisin
I know I shouldn't see you...
But I do
She observes me with a keen eye
She sees through
I must hide I must wait
But you cannot be late
For we only have one chance
To be.
But I do
She observes me with a keen eye
She sees through
I must hide I must wait
But you cannot be late
For we only have one chance
To be.
Ame
I have never reached so hard before
But these questions pierce my soul
Have I lived a life of blindness
Or am I working towards a goal?
My normal tools to orient
Are breaking in my hands
Is it true that I'm not capable
Trying things I know I can't
But alone I walk this pathway
I can't tell if it's the right way
And I restart this fight each day
In the end--- I must choose to believe.
But these questions pierce my soul
Have I lived a life of blindness
Or am I working towards a goal?
My normal tools to orient
Are breaking in my hands
Is it true that I'm not capable
Trying things I know I can't
But alone I walk this pathway
I can't tell if it's the right way
And I restart this fight each day
In the end--- I must choose to believe.
It's been a while
But I still wrote. So though I don't believe anyone actually reads this, I'm going to continue to post poems and other works. The next few I wrote on my mission. Vive la France!
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