tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20189032758245612742024-03-13T23:02:18.903-07:00poetry of my lifeKacey Katehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650521224870950949noreply@blogger.comBlogger41125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2018903275824561274.post-78850106355946096932013-09-26T15:45:00.001-07:002013-09-26T15:46:45.776-07:00Research methods musingsThey burst into<br />
Flaming color<br />
Celebrating death<br />
With life<br />
The flow drifts<br />
Almost to a stop<br />
Neutral<br />
Pushed by momentum<br />
Hibernating for<br />
Survival<br />
This cryogenic path<br />
I feel my heart<br />
Explode<br />
Everything<br />
That could be<br />
Will be<br />
I hope.<br />
Hope springs<br />
Eternal.<br />
Spring is what<br />
I hope for<br />
Eternity<br />
Is my goal<br />
We can reach it<br />
Have it<br />
Receive the gift.<br />
Together<br />
Eternity is ours.<br />
Maybe.<br />
Maybe in the spring<br />
Of my hope<br />
We Will enter in<br />
At the Gate.<br />
Next fall,<br />
The spring of my<br />
Hope,<br />
Plunge deep into<br />
The leaves<br />
Crunchy with their<br />
Last efforts<br />
To love,<br />
<br />
With me.Kacey Katehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650521224870950949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2018903275824561274.post-63533662741579898562013-09-04T17:47:00.000-07:002013-09-04T17:47:06.144-07:00Social Work Policy 2.0 or Hindsight of a StarTwinkle, twinkle,<br />
Little tear<br />
How I feel <br />
When you are near.<br />
Let me change<br />
Your written end.<br />
Let me show you<br />
I'm you're friend.<br />
Twinkle, twinkle,<br />
Little tear<br />
How I feel<br />
When you are near.<br />
<br />
Sparkle, sparkle<br />
Brightened soul<br />
How I see your fate<br />
Unfold<br />
Loving more than<br />
You receive<br />
Letting yourself<br />
just Believe.<br />
Sparkle, sparkle<br />
Brightened soul<br />
How I see your<br />
Fate unfold.<br />
<br />
Tell me, tell me,<br />
Dearest friend,<br />
Why you felt<br />
It all should end?<br />
Did you think<br />
Your life fell<br />
flat?<br />
Was the war<br />
Hard to <br />
Combat?<br />
Tell me, tell me,<br />
Dearest friend<br />
Why you felt<br />
It all should end?<br />
<br />
<br />
So,<br />
<br />
Twinkle, twinkle,<br />
falling tears<br />
Help me feel<br />
That you<br />
<br />
are near.Kacey Katehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650521224870950949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2018903275824561274.post-49220845896957964642013-09-04T17:40:00.000-07:002013-09-04T17:40:18.401-07:00Social Work Policy 1.3 (Anticipation of a phone call)Tell me <br />
A thing or two<br />
About the love<br />
I have for you.<br />
Show me<br />
The way I care<br />
When neither he<br />
Nor she are there.<br />
Give me<br />
Some good advice<br />
On how you'll add me<br />
To your life.<br />
Let me<br />
Begin to be<br />
The person that<br />
I hope to be.Kacey Katehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650521224870950949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2018903275824561274.post-61341981405048557742013-09-04T17:38:00.000-07:002013-09-04T17:38:38.007-07:00Social Work Policy 1.2Come away<br />
And show me your<br />
Eyes<br />
Wash your windows<br />
With the salty tears<br />
of Love.<br />
Whisper in the dark<br />
Shout in the Son<br />
Wind may rage<br />
But will not change<br />
What we Are.<br />
Is a crunchy leaf<br />
blown miles away<br />
Any less<br />
a leaf?<br />
A sponge for<br />
Light<br />
Energy<br />
Food.<br />
Soak up the<br />
Vital-men's<br />
Convert to life<br />
Life and hope<br />
Come away<br />
And show me your<br />
<br />
<br />
eyes.Kacey Katehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650521224870950949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2018903275824561274.post-57919447052784969292013-09-04T17:35:00.000-07:002013-09-04T17:35:26.882-07:00Social Work Policy 1.1I work hard<br />
Blood, sweat, tears<br />
Hoping for many years<br />
To come<br />
To love<br />
My dearest heart<br />
We wait to start<br />
But I fear neutral<br />
Will kill me someday.<br />
Some mornings<br />
I wake up alone<br />
Feeling toute seule<br />
Though I know<br />
You are beating along<br />
A solicitous song<br />
But I dance the swing<br />
And you two-step past<br />
And the morning fades<br />
Slowly away.<br />
<br />
Eh.<br />
We'll figure it all<br />
out.<br />
I know.<br />
You know.<br />
Let's go!Kacey Katehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650521224870950949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2018903275824561274.post-50353571640637222722013-09-02T21:00:00.000-07:002013-09-02T21:00:15.221-07:00Primary Ponderings
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">It’s not always easy<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">But I’m trying<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Trying to look beyond myself<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Beyond my eyes<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Beyond my hurt<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And when I do<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I see you standing<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">No, sitting<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Calm, patient, and sure<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sure that it will all work out<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I know. I know it will<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">But<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Will we work out?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Silly question<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">No answer<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The right question isn’t will<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Or even when<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">But how.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">How will it work out?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I don’t know<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">But I believe<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I have faith<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Heaps of faith<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Leaps of faith<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Leaps of love<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And hope.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Love,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Yes, love<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My love for Him is greater<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Than my love for him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My trust in Him<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Is deeper than my trust<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My faith in Him<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">His plans, His ways,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">His love for me<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Is truer than my faith <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Does that diminish him?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">No. Not in the least.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">It gives him,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Us,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Trust,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Faith,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And hope.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">See, the real question<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Is not will it work out…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">But will I recognize it<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">When it does?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Kacey Katehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650521224870950949noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2018903275824561274.post-52510640603419545612013-07-14T18:33:00.001-07:002013-07-14T18:33:29.428-07:00bastille day reflection
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I don’t know<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I don’t know what’s going on<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Who’s right<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Who’s wrong<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Or are we both wrong?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Ha. I’ve sung that song<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Should I want to be right?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Should I long too be the one<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Who handles the controls<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Who shows what can be done?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Part of me is disappointed<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Part of me is relieved<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Part of me is scared to death<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">That fear, it motivates<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Oh yes. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Motivates far better than faith<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">‘Cause faith is scary.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">It requires leaping <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Not knowing <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Where you’re going<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Well, you know what you <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Hope.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And desire<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">But faith<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Faith is about trusting<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Someone Higher.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I ask myself<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Is what He wants<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">What I want?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Do I trust<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">What His plan<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Has in store?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Yes<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In fact, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I trust it more.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">More than my fears<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Though some are born <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">From this trust<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">From this unknown.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">But really—<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Who’s to say<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">What I expect is wrong?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Or what I want won’t be<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">What I get?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">No one. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Not a soul.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Unless it contradicts<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">His <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">bonne parole<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">It’s all so open<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Not closed<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Do I feel it?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Oh make love to my heart<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And comfort my soul<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And give me control<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">No, not control.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Predictability.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I need predictability.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">“The best way to decrease<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">"Predictability<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">"Is to react.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">"The best way<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">"To increase predictability<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">"Is to be<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">"Proactive.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Let me be proactive.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And come,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Proact with me<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Let’s increase the <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Predictability<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Of notre vie.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I love Him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I serve Him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Want to serve<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">With me?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I trust Him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I let Him<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Change me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">What’s going on?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Who’s right<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And who’s wrong?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Or are we both<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In the same song<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Swimming along?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">What?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">What’s going on?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Kacey Katehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650521224870950949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2018903275824561274.post-60634793936873639812013-06-13T19:42:00.001-07:002013-06-13T19:42:45.976-07:00Valenciennes to CaenI don't know what I think<br />
I know even less what I feel<br />
All I am sure of is the fact<br />
That your role is semi real<br />
I thought I learned my lesson<br />
God intended me to learn<br />
But again you waltz into my thoughts<br />
Again I start to yearn<br />
Funny all the different parts<br />
About your own true self<br />
Pull me in and push me out<br />
I'm slightly overwhelmed<br />
Go away, get out, leave not a trace<br />
I'm worse when I'm with you<br />
And yet you make my night light up<br />
Doing things I wouldn't do.<br />
She saw it on my face last time<br />
The joy you bring my heart<br />
But it never can end happily<br />
Why do I let it start?<br />
I love you, yes, and feel you more<br />
Than I'd ever like to stay<br />
But it rumbles round like a poisoned meal<br />
I wish it would go away<br />
These feelings are rather premature<br />
My mom would mock and tease<br />
Then hangs the thing I'm scared to ask<br />
<br />
Do you really even... want me?Kacey Katehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650521224870950949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2018903275824561274.post-66181831884586793672013-06-13T19:37:00.003-07:002013-06-13T19:37:50.728-07:00actuelleI almost want to feel something<br />
I want to know that it's real.<br />
<br />
It was real<br />
But now...<br />
<br />
<br />
...<br />
Kacey Katehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650521224870950949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2018903275824561274.post-19900334162928751852013-06-13T19:36:00.001-07:002013-06-13T19:36:31.639-07:00hedgehog loverHe once was a part of me<br />
A part of who I was<br />
But now he's more a memory<br />
A background humming buzz<br />
And yet I reach deep in myself<br />
To try and feel again<br />
But his face and name do nothing more<br />
Than tell me he's a man<br />
You know, I changed my life for him<br />
I traded heart and soul<br />
But there he saw a ball and chain<br />
Or at least a repeated role.Kacey Katehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650521224870950949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2018903275824561274.post-15003594587040487452013-06-13T19:34:00.002-07:002013-06-13T19:34:13.174-07:00de la missionJe sais...<br />
<br />
Je serai toujours triste<br />
Et navrée pour ton choix<br />
Je sais que je suis mieux<br />
Que t'as pensé toi.Kacey Katehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650521224870950949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2018903275824561274.post-50222818466183314622013-04-14T17:28:00.003-07:002013-04-14T17:28:42.642-07:00the gift freely givenWhat I would do for a smile<br />
<br />
Amid it all<br />
The weighty yolk<br />
Burdens that threaten to break my back<br />
All I need is a smile.<br />
<br />
Sneers are worthless Pits of darkness<br />
Vacuums, voids, lacking<br />
But a smile...<br />
That twinkle<br />
The eyes that shift<br />
Upturned lips<br />
<br />
What I would do for a smile.<br />
<br />
Voila ma motivation<br />
Voila pourquoi je vis.<br />
Voila la joie et la force<br />
Un sourire... ouais.<br />
C'est ca la vrai energie.<br />
<br />
Once upon a time<br />
Or maybe twice<br />
or Thrice<br />
Too many to admit<br />
I've chased it away.<br />
The elusive smile<br />
Self centered actions<br />
Thoughts, feelings<br />
They stood before me.<br />
Usually the choice didn't appear<br />
As a choice.<br />
But then<br />
My truest love<br />
The light you give off<br />
The glow of a simple<br />
Adoration<br />
It fades<br />
Shades of hurt<br />
Cover your face<br />
Starting in your eyes<br />
Those sweet, shining eyes<br />
Innocent<br />
Giddy<br />
Alive.<br />
Slowly dying<br />
It's the graduality<br />
The eventuality<br />
Which kills me.<br />
Realizing that the hurt<br />
The betrayal<br />
You trusted me<br />
To love you<br />
And I loved myself more<br />
for an Instant.<br />
An instant is long enough to ache.<br />
<br />
What I would do for your smile.<br />
<br />
Your smile<br />
Your joy<br />
Your heart<br />
Let me show you<br />
I can love you<br />
Serve you.<br />
<br />
Let me earn<br />
your Smile.Kacey Katehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650521224870950949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2018903275824561274.post-65388267571794256202013-04-12T09:14:00.001-07:002013-04-12T09:14:29.967-07:00Champagne SupernovaAnd we will<br />
Be best friends forever<br />
We'll have fun together<br />
And no matter the weather<br />
We'll see it through<br />
And we still<br />
Help one another<br />
Learn from each other<br />
Watch out like our mothers<br />
Like good friends do<br />
That's right<br />
That's what you and I will do.<br />
<br />
It didn't take too long <br />
to see<br />
That we met before<br />
Cette vie<br />
How fantastic<br />
It has been<br />
To be your favorite<br />
assigned friend.<br />
<br />
Luckily it doesn't end here<br />
We'll add more memories that we hold dear<br />
Cause it's not every day<br />
My premortal friends come out to play<br />
So though I leave real soon<br />
Know that when we meet again<br />
I sing <br />
For you<br />
<br />
That we will <br />
Be best friends forever<br />
We'll hang out together<br />
And no matter the weather<br />
We'll see it through<br />
And we'll still<br />
Help one another<br />
Learn from each other<br />
Watch out like our mothers<br />
As good friends do<br />
That's right<br />
That's what you and I will do.<br />
<br />
I don't go buildin' treehouse clubs<br />
With just any pre-earth child<br />
I know that we were "supah coo'!"<br />
And probably pretty wild<br />
I just hope that you'll never let go<br />
Of the ties that bind our souls<br />
Changing winds have come to stir things up<br />
Who knows what the future holds?<br />
<br />
But...<br />
<br />
<br />
I know...<br />
<br />
That we will<br />
Be best friends forever<br />
We'll hang out together<br />
No matter the weather<br />
We'll see it through<br />
And we'll still<br />
Help one another<br />
Learn from each other<br />
Watch out like two mothers<br />
As best friends do.<br />
I know.<br />
<br />
That's what you and I will do.Kacey Katehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650521224870950949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2018903275824561274.post-42390685292575046402013-04-12T09:04:00.001-07:002013-04-12T09:04:28.701-07:00StarshineI didn't want to come back<br />
Vivid memories still lived<br />
But you said on our first train ride<br />
How you've made yourself commit<br />
Oh Starshine,<br />
What a way to begin.<br />
<br />
Working all day loveing people<br />
Fighting inner questionings<br />
Are you good enough to do it?<br />
Of course, Don't be silly!<br />
Oh my Starshine,<br />
What a girl to be!<br />
<br />
Yeah you can smile<br />
Through a trial<br />
Walk a mile<br />
In their shoes<br />
Givin' it all,<br />
Your head held tall<br />
No hope to small<br />
For you.<br />
<br />
I couldn't seem to stop you<br />
From spreading 'round the sun<br />
You want to save a precious soul<br />
Even if it's just one<br />
Oh Starshine,<br />
You have a heart of gold.<br />
<br />
I cried over a nothing<br />
Hiding all my fears and doubts<br />
But you showed me that it's all okay<br />
You swept away my clouds<br />
Oh Starshine,<br />
Your time is not.<br />
<br />
Yeah you can smile <br />
Through a trial<br />
Walk a mile<br />
In their shoes<br />
Givin' it all,<br />
Your head held tall<br />
No hope to small<br />
For you.<br />
<br />
Remember the love in your heart<br />
Is where all the real changes start<br />
Show them that Christ's perfect love<br />
Is what helps you to be strong enough<br />
To survive<br />
This life...<br />
<br />
Yeah you can smile<br />
Through a trial<br />
Walk a mile in their shoes<br />
Your head held tall<br />
Givin' it all all<br />
No hope too small<br />
For you.<br />
Cause, Starshine, <br />
<br />
that's just what you do.<br />
<br />
<br />
--avec amour, ta Regina Spektor<br />
Kacey Katehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650521224870950949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2018903275824561274.post-69629467926496632522013-04-11T11:24:00.000-07:002013-04-11T11:24:15.867-07:00Marci's SongIt seems to me you live your life<br />
Like tonight might be your last<br />
You put in everything you've got<br />
But the time moves far too fast<br />
It shows in everything you do<br />
The whole heart that you give<br />
It wears me out to watch you go<br />
Oh what a way to live!<br />
<br />
It's cause you know<br />
You know how to go on<br />
The journey's not that long<br />
And nothing really could go wrong<br />
So en avant!<br />
Press forward with all your might<br />
All things will be right<br />
You're fighting the good fight<br />
With me in Versailles.<br />
<br />
It seems to me that you love the work<br />
Like you feel more blessed than stressed<br />
For all good things must come from God<br />
You don't worry about the rest<br />
Okay so life is not parfaite<br />
And you admit you have your trials<br />
But a moment's all it takes for you<br />
To refind you great smile<br />
<br />
It's cause you know<br />
You know how to go on<br />
The journey's not that long<br />
And nothing really could go wrong<br />
So en avant!<br />
Press forward with all your might<br />
All things will be right<br />
You're fighting the good fight<br />
With me in Versailles<br />
<br />
Don't be afraid<br />
You're not alone <br />
He qualifies those whom He calls<br />
It's going great<br />
Keep marching on<br />
He promised to not let you fall<br />
<br />
It's cause you know<br />
You know how to go on<br />
The journey's not that long<br />
And nothing really could go wrong<br />
So en avant!<br />
Press forward with all your might<br />
All things will be right<br />
You're fighting the good fight<br />
With me<br />
<br />
In Versailles.Kacey Katehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650521224870950949noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2018903275824561274.post-78964581256069693922013-04-11T11:07:00.002-07:002013-04-11T17:03:20.904-07:00Post Wingate RemyI don't know why but your face haunts me.<br />
I can rationalize all my feeling away<br />
Until I see you.<br />
Hear you. And it rushes back<br />
Like a force of unkown strength<br />
Unending life<br />
It fills me and consumes me.<br />
I hate it and love it all at the same time.<br />
If this feeling were calm, quiet,<br />
Even nearly inexistent<br />
I could trust it.<br />
But the intensity<br />
The growth.<br />
The power.<br />
It's so complete in the way<br />
That there is no end.<br />
Hold me closer <br />
So I can push you away<br />
When I'm in the red<br />
I feel fine<br />
But when I commit to giving all<br />
My normal doubts drop in<br />
The ones that are like faith<br />
You can't prove them<br />
You can't disprove them<br />
They exist as long as you play into them<br />
So I stop.<br />
But I fall again<br />
But I hear you.<br />
But I think about a future.<br />
And the sprout<br />
Budding like dandylions<br />
Beautiful<br />
Calm.<br />
Good.<br />
They spread<br />
Expand.<br />
Float across the wind<br />
Creating more doubts<br />
More fears.<br />
So what is the solution?<br />
Do I close my eyes<br />
Grab my faith<br />
And jump?<br />
Or do I dance<br />
This passionate Tango<br />
of love<br />
and fire<br />
And fear.<br />
Until you decide to pick another partner<br />
Or maybe I find a new one.<br />
Less complicated<br />
More present<br />
(Though you are ever present in my mind)<br />
More stable...<br />
Yet my dance will continue<br />
With no matter whom<br />
Until I stop guessing twice<br />
So why not<br />
Just end the dance<br />
With you?Kacey Katehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650521224870950949noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2018903275824561274.post-9582840477654760432012-04-09T21:49:00.001-07:002012-04-09T21:49:33.733-07:00Just One Day (Elodie's Hymn)If I had just one day<br />
I wouldn't throw it away<br />
I'd let my heart soar high<br />
Follow my dreams to the sky<br />
If I could tell them all<br />
How infinitely small<br />
I am.<br />
But I have weeks on end<br />
And high maintenance friends<br />
Oh how I wish I had<br />
That just one day.<br />
<br />
Waking up each time<br />
Is like breaking mirrors<br />
Changing a good thing<br />
To an invisible reality<br />
I think I'd rather have twisted<br />
Than feel like no one listens<br />
Better live like there's just one day.<br />
<br />
If I had just one day<br />
I think I'd like to play<br />
Run around in muddy fields<br />
See if this love felt real<br />
If you could show you all<br />
How far I've had to crawl<br />
to here.<br />
But I've got years ahead<br />
Before I'm close to dead<br />
Sometimes I wish I had<br />
That just one day.<br />
<br />
Desperation is a reason<br />
To throw it to the wind<br />
But what about a person<br />
Who just wants to give in<br />
Where is my facility<br />
My unearned appellation?<br />
Implied in the beginning<br />
Is a never ending end.<br />
<br />
If I had just one day<br />
I think I'd change my ways<br />
With my heart and soul<br />
Give God all the control<br />
If I could show you all<br />
That I've heard the call<br />
To flee.<br />
But I've got seconds to waste<br />
Nowhere near the place<br />
To act as if I had<br />
That just one day.Kacey Katehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650521224870950949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2018903275824561274.post-82381893019908546712011-10-26T14:25:00.000-07:002012-04-09T21:39:50.689-07:00spice rackWhenever you're around me<br />
I can hold it deep inside<br />
And never give a second thought<br />
To how I'm going to cry.<br />
I know that you're a special one<br />
But I cannot say those words<br />
Sometimes the love fills my whole self<br />
It grows so much it hurts.<br />
And I when I know that we can't meet<br />
For at least a little while<br />
I find myself upon this fork<br />
Again I'm in this trial<br />
So am I in love with your idea<br />
And imaginary man?<br />
Or are my feelings very real?<br />
I just know that NOW I can't.<br />
Someday I'll wish upon a star<br />
And maybe I'll try then<br />
To see if there is anything<br />
Or has the light grown dim.<br />
Oh how I hate this inner fight<br />
This battle of the heart<br />
I cannot act upon my love<br />
Now is not the time to start.<br />
So help me, Lord, forget this one<br />
Help me hide him deep inside.<br />
So when I stand before Thy throne<br />
I'm not tempted to lie.<br />
<br />
Oh hide him far away from me<br />
Like he never even lived<br />
And make me see the special things<br />
That came before he did.<br />
<br />
So maybe, when we're dead and gone<br />
Maybe we'll meet that day<br />
And have a rule free circumstance<br />
And I'll love you without shame.<br />
But till that day<br />
I'll stop, I'll hide<br />
I cannot hold, I cannot try<br />
I don't know why He put you here<br />
Or why you're in my way<br />
I know, however, one thing's clear:<br />
Today is not our day.Kacey Katehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650521224870950949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2018903275824561274.post-79674428814248564462011-10-26T14:19:00.000-07:002012-04-09T21:42:37.499-07:00final night in melunI thought he was something<br />
But then he was not<br />
The words that pierced my wall<br />
Will not be forgot<br />
I cannot change the time<br />
And I cannot fix the past<br />
I hoped that he was different<br />
My dream just couldn't last<br />
So now I stand on the edge of decision.<br />
<br />
Make up your mind<br />
Come, pick a side<br />
You cannot say no<br />
It's a matter of pride<br />
Does he care what you think?<br />
Does he care what you feel?<br />
Will you hold out forever<br />
to see if it's real?<br />
No-- you will walk down one path.<br />
<br />
Upon close inspection<br />
I sought hard to see<br />
Was it him with the faults<br />
Or is it just me?<br />
I cannot change my soul<br />
And I cannot change my heart<br />
But I will uphold my standards<br />
So degradation doesn't start<br />
Thus begins my intense transformation.<br />
<br />
Make up your mind<br />
Come, pick a side<br />
you cannot say no<br />
It's a matter of pride<br />
Does he care what you think?<br />
Does he care what you feel?<br />
Will you hold out forever<br />
To see if it's real?<br />
No, you will walk down your path.<br />
<br />
And it's funny<br />
How my heart doesn't cry<br />
When I tell myself, "this love must die."<br />
It's ironic<br />
How they break under strain<br />
My condemning<br />
Sentimental chains.<br />
<br />
Make up your mind<br />
Come, pick a side<br />
You cannot say no<br />
It's a matter of pride<br />
Does he care what you think?<br />
Does he care what you feel?<br />
Will you hold out forever<br />
to see if it's real?<br />
No, I will make the right plan.<br />
Now, I know where I stand.Kacey Katehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650521224870950949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2018903275824561274.post-34678792581015850692011-10-26T14:11:00.000-07:002011-10-26T14:11:43.873-07:00HallEach night I come<br />
Watching blackened skies<br />
I wait to see your face<br />
When dark is done<br />
Light reveals my cries<br />
Nothing in its place<br />
<br />
But you cannot hide forever from my desperate prayers<br />
You cannot act as though you do not hear<br />
The world may call me down<br />
I live where fears abound<br />
But in my heart I stand and feel you near.<br />
<br />
In a dark room<br />
Where love walks forth<br />
Happiness soon dies out<br />
Daily he moons<br />
Divining his worth<br />
I harbor my own doubts<br />
<br />
But you cannot hide forever from my desperate prayers<br />
You cannot act as though you do not hear.<br />
The world may call me down<br />
I live where fears abound<br />
But in my heart I stand and feel you near.<br />
<br />
Those around me haven't seen<br />
What it is you've done for me<br />
They haven't read the writings<br />
That you've graven on my heart<br />
What it is I need to be<br />
Isn't something that came free<br />
But these feelings in my soul<br />
I swear will never depart<br />
<br />
And you will not hide forever from my desperate prayers<br />
You will not act as though you do not hear<br />
The world may call me down<br />
I may live where fears abound<br />
But in my heart I stand and feel you near.<br />
In my heart, I know that you are here.Kacey Katehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650521224870950949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2018903275824561274.post-75983880530736271242011-10-26T14:04:00.001-07:002011-10-26T14:04:58.008-07:00VoisinI know I shouldn't see you...<br />
But I do<br />
She observes me with a keen eye<br />
She sees through<br />
I must hide I must wait<br />
But you cannot be late<br />
For we only have one chance<br />
To be.Kacey Katehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650521224870950949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2018903275824561274.post-92224226918456980862011-10-26T14:03:00.000-07:002011-10-26T14:03:56.476-07:00AmeI have never reached so hard before<br />
But these questions pierce my soul<br />
Have I lived a life of blindness<br />
Or am I working towards a goal?<br />
My normal tools to orient<br />
Are breaking in my hands<br />
Is it true that I'm not capable<br />
Trying things I know I can't<br />
<br />
But alone I walk this pathway<br />
I can't tell if it's the right way<br />
And I restart this fight each day<br />
In the end--- I must choose to believe.Kacey Katehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650521224870950949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2018903275824561274.post-20325332869688588612011-10-26T14:01:00.000-07:002011-10-26T14:01:10.710-07:00It's been a whileBut I still wrote. So though I don't believe anyone actually reads this, I'm going to continue to post poems and other works. The next few I wrote on my mission. Vive la France!Kacey Katehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650521224870950949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2018903275824561274.post-75225383036407183212009-11-24T02:26:00.000-08:002009-11-24T02:33:00.942-08:00i just don't know<br />what am i to think?<br />i feel ugly<br />stupid<br />fat<br />cheap<br />easy<br />and worthless.<br /><br />what a great list of words.<br /><br />who's to contradict me?<br />they can speak their words<br />spout self righteous statements<br />lies, really.<br />but nothing supports their statements<br />"yeah, you're cute! just not to me. <br />But to someone else..."<br /><br />Bull.<br />if there were someone out there<br />someone who thought i was cute<br />i've never met them<br />they don't exist<br /><br />why is it that 20 pounds ago i was cute?<br />why is it that 20 mgs of prozak ago i was happy?<br />why can't i just be happy?<br /><br />why the compulsive starvation?<br />hard exercise<br />but it never changes how i look.<br />or the fact that they think i'm cheap<br />because i'm fat<br />and can't do any better.<br /><br />i look at them all and laugh.<br />a sad, bitter, sardonic laugh.<br />they don't know<br />they think they can cheer me with lies.<br /><br />but i'm not that stupid.<br /><br />i know better.<br /><br />i know i'm ugly.<br />obese<br />redundant<br />pissy<br />unattractive in every way<br />and left to my own devices<br /><br />sad, isn't it.<br /><br />nope. just how the<br />bleeding, porous world<br />turns.Kacey Katehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650521224870950949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2018903275824561274.post-14708905089750970442009-11-17T15:30:00.000-08:002009-11-18T09:01:19.788-08:00I've never been this cold before in my life, which, when you think about it, is really impressive. I've called mountain tops, and antarctic conditions home before... but they were nothing like this. Perhaps it's because that cold was external, a superficial tactile experience. This cold started in my heart.<br /><br />I'm running through the snow and trees, determined to find him. I scream his name, over and over, hoping to hear a response. Nothing. Tears escape my eyes and freeze on my cheeks. I need to find him before it's too late.<br /><br />Charles should have helped me, but I realize now that he never will. He lives in a gilded tower, away from reality and the world. Everyone thinks he's brilliant and infallible. I think he's a stubborn old snob. He's the only one who could help me find Victor-- but he wont.<br /><br />I scream his name again. "Victor! VICTOR!" My voice is fading into the woods, snow sucking it up like a dry sponge. No more tears escape. My fear and worry has turned to anger. Who did he think he was? Running away like this is so stupid, beyond belief stupid! And now, I have to come find him. No one else will. Not even his family.<br /><br />I'm his only family now. He doesn't even love me, doesn't even want me. My figure provokes no feelings in his nooks and crannies. My face creates no emotional response. Unless you count annoyance. Yet I love him. And I'm coming to save him.<br /><br />Perhaps it was the song. I know he heard me at the piano, plucking away at the little ditty. I'd hoped he would understand the spiritual significance the tune held, but he did not. It bothered him. I practically saw him bristle. Well, I didn't actually see him. But I felt it. Hot embarrassment irradiated his body, starting at his round, dark face.<br /><br />Those eyes. So full of hurt and frustration. Picturing those eyes keep me going.<br /><br />I know I get through to him sometimes. I've seen affection in the pools of ink below his forehead. I know it. I just know it.<br /><br />Something makes me stop. My feet sink into the drifts as I peer around and look for the clue. There: his heavy feet left deep impressions in the snow, not yet covered by the fresh powder. I turn and take off at full speed in that direction.<br /><br />Why do I love you, Victor? You've done nothing but scorn me, treat your brother like crap, and... seen me. He saw beyond my facade. True, my figure does nothing for his arousal, but perhaps that was why I want him so badly. Every other man falls for the curves, the concaves and convexes. Victor is immune to my charm, my magic. He sees me as no one special. And that makes him spectacular.<br /><br /><br />There. Huddled underneath a frozen drift, Victor sits. His fingers are turning blue, and my heart stops cold at the sight. Please God, don't let him have frost bite. I walk cautiously over to the man I just spent four hours looking for. He looks up at me and glares.<br /><br />"Why. Why are you following me." The words imply questioning, but his tone does no such thing.<br />"Someone had to find you. You'll die out here if left to wander."<br /><br />"Why you?"<br /><br />"Why not me?"<br /><br />He doesn't accept my answer. I put out my hands to him, a gesture that's supposed to show care and concern. He ignores my cold fingers and upturned palms.<br /><br />"You have no excuse to be here." He continues to challenge my motives. Perhaps he's trying to figure me out? Could that be a sign of interest?<br /><br />"Neither do you, idiot." Ha. That's the first time I've ever insulted him. To his face, at least.<br /><br />The light in his eyes changes from anger and irritation to surprise. I pull my hands back and place them on my hips. The cold is getting to my brain. I'm feeling the original emotion of anger rise in my face.<br /><br /><br /><br />"You're being stupid. I can't abide stupidity." My statement is the boldest I've ever made to him. Trying to woo him has been difficult, and no acquiesence has provided a way into his heart.<br /><br /><br /><br />"Why are you here?" he asks me.<br /><br /><br /><br />I sigh.<br /><br /><br /><br />"I don't know, anymore. I thought it was to help you. But apparently you're intent on freezing to death out here. Have fun." I turn and start walking away, leaving behind the man I came to save. It kills me to leave his poor soul freezing over in the snow bank. My mind debates with itself for a good thirty seconds before I finally act on my feelings.<br /><br />I march back to Victor, fire in my eyes and heart. "I don't give a crap if you don't want to be saved. You may think you're invincible, but have you ever frozen to death, Victor? Have you?" My voice raises in pitch and volume as I continue. "You can't stay here! You <em>will</em> die. And no matter how badly you treat me, no matter how much you ignore me, you are STILL a human being and I cannot abide murder. If I leave you here, that's exactly what I'm doing."<br /><br />He stares at me for a full minute. He stands and puts out his gloved hand.<br /><br />"Hi. My name's Victor. I don't think we've met." He smiles that amazingly attractive smile. I understand what he's telling me.<br /><br />"Allyn. My name is Allyn."<br /><br />We shake hands.<br /><br />"Pleased to meet you."Kacey Katehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650521224870950949noreply@blogger.com0