spice rack

Whenever you're around me
I can hold it deep inside
And never give a second thought
To how I'm going to cry.
I know that you're a special one
But I cannot say those words
Sometimes the love fills my whole self
It grows so much it hurts.
And I when I know that we can't meet
For at least a little while
I find myself upon this fork
Again I'm in this trial
So am I in love with your idea
And imaginary man?
Or are my feelings very real?
I just know that NOW I can't.
Someday I'll wish upon a star
And maybe I'll try then
To see if there is anything
Or has the light grown dim.
Oh how I hate this inner fight
This battle of the heart
I cannot act upon my love
Now is not the time to start.
So help me, Lord, forget this one
Help me hide him deep inside.
So when I stand before Thy throne
I'm not tempted to lie.

Oh hide him far away from me
Like he never even lived
And make me see the special things
That came before he did.

So maybe, when we're dead and gone
Maybe we'll meet that day
And have a rule free circumstance
And I'll love you without shame.
But till that day
I'll stop, I'll hide
I cannot hold, I cannot try
I don't know why He put you here
Or why you're in my way
I know, however, one thing's clear:
Today is not our day.